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By: Craig SodaroAdd to Wish List
Script: $7.50
Notebook Script: $16.75
   (8.5 x 11 3-ring binder with large margins for notes)
First Performance Royalty: $65.00
Each Additional Performance: $65.00
Limited Video Rights: $30.00
Limited Streaming/Broadcast Rights: $50.00
Extra Streams: $0.50
Type: Full Length Play
Genres: Comedy, Mystery
Themes: Play Noir, Love & Romance, Family
Running Time: 90 minutes
Speaking Cast: 10 females, 5 males, 15 total cast
Script Preview   Productions
Nick Noir, ace private eye, has just bought the wedding rings in preparation for his wedding to Selma, his devoted secretary. He's also all set to meet Selma's parents for the first time before he and Selma scoot off to Vegas for a quick wedding at the Little Chapel of Love.
Selma, however, has failed to fill Nick in on a few facts. For one thing, her father is Otto Meyer, who has made a fortune selling his famous hot dogs. Selma's family lives in a mansion with 28 rooms, two swimming pools, and, well, you get the picture. It's a life Nick's not acquainted with. For another thing, her mother and father are planning a big wedding being coordinated by two very gushy coordinators, Lola Hart and Lila Soul. Even the three bridesmaids are planning to be at the mansion to meet Nick. And, by the way, Selma told her folks that she is marrying a doctor and that she's the chief administrator at Johns Hopkins Medical Center.
To make the weekend jaunt even more interesting, the seductive Desiree Divine hires Nick to find a long-lost ex, whom she has traced to - you guessed it - Wurst Mansion.
At the mansion, Otto's business manager, Cosmo, is frantically trying to find out what happened to millions of dollars he claims he sent to the IRS but the IRS says they never received. As the wedding expenses mount, Otto becomes more and more nervous about how he'll make ends meet. Disaster strikes when Cosmo turns up dead, the victim of a blunt object to the back of his head.
"Dr." Noir takes over, asking the usual questions and quickly finds that everybody in the house is a suspect. Ralph, Sissy's lazy boyfriend has disappeared so he becomes the prime suspect. When Desiree disappears as well, Nick decides he'd better mount an all-out offensive to find out who killed Cosmo and why. The "why" becomes quickly apparent, Cosmo himself has stolen the money meant for the IRS. The cook who can't cook turns out to be an IRS agent investigating the case. But a new question quickly arises: where is Cosmo's briefcase which contains the money?
With the fancy footwork of a classic gumshoe, Nick pieces the puzzle together while patching up his differences with Selma. Just as he reveals who the killer is, Selma finally comes clean and explains that Nick isn't a doctor, but a detective. Otto couldn't be happier because he's a big fan of Columbo.

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